Blizzard Battles 2026 Final: Adopted Acres vs. Hearth & Altar
Howdy, and welcome back to one hundred reasons why a 55-year-old man should not be making YouTube videos. This is Blizzard Battles 2026, the final round. But first, I owe you round 12.
I Owe the Cajun Blade an Apology
I tabulated every vote by hand on a blank sheet of paper, and there were a ton of them. When I saw the Cajun Blade had won the label art vote, I posted that it was headed to the championship. I didn’t have my scorecard in front of me when I made that post, and I forgot that a label art win only tied the Cajun Blade with Hearth & Altar. It didn’t send it through on its own. So I posted something I shouldn’t have, got Eric and the Cajun Blade fans excited, then had to walk it back. That one’s on me. I should not be making these videos.
Here’s how it actually broke down. Label art: 64 votes for the Cajun Blade, 54 for Hearth & Altar. Congratulations to the Cajun Blade on that one, and that made the overall score an eight-to-eight tie. Then the tiebreaker vote: 55 for the Cajun Blade, 60 for Hearth & Altar. A ridiculously close battle, and there are no losers in a fight like that. Every soap in this thing has been fantastic. Hearth & Altar moves on to the final round against Adopted Acres.
The Final Round
Thirteen rounds. I think this is the longest one of these I’ve ever run. The championship comes down to Adopted Acres’ Triple Dog Dare against Hearth & Altar’s Barren Earth.
I’m doing something different for this one. I’ve always wondered if I score one side of my face differently than the other. I noticed the last two episodes both went to whoever was on a particular side, and I don’t know if that’s a real pattern or just random. So instead of picking myself, I spun a wheel: Adopted Acres left, Adopted Acres right, Hearth & Altar left, Hearth & Altar right. Hearth & Altar landed on the right, so that’s the red ferrule brush. Adopted Acres is on the left with the black ferrule.
For the razor, I’m using the Blackland Batch 4 for the first time. It just showed up, I unboxed it, snapped a few photos, and loaded it with a GEM blade before I sat down to record. It’s part of Blackland’s Workshop line, the limited, outside-the-box runs they do every now and then, like the square single-edge I used a while back. This one’s machined from a single piece of stainless steel, no screws, no separate parts, inspired by those old lather catcher razors from the early 1900s. I’m curious whether I can even handle a brand new razor in the state I’m about to be in.
Loading Up
Brush wet, soap wet, let’s load Triple Dog Dare first. I love, love, love this one. Doug, where’s my EDP? Still haven’t gotten you back for that. Beautifully loaded, rinse it off, and I’m expecting the longevity on this to be another record breaker.
Hearth & Altar’s Barren Earth goes on next, and I’m already saying this one’s going to be brutal to judge. Someone in the comments suggested I start scoring skin feel as a tiebreaker, especially after these cold soaps beat your face up. That’s a genuinely good idea I’m considering for next year. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it already.
The Shave
Razor’s loaded with a blade I haven’t used yet, and this thing is quiet. Barely a sound cutting through stubble, which caught me off guard in the middle of a soap battle, but it’s worth mentioning.
Triple Dog Dare goes on first, and it’s already vaporizing in my eyes before I get the razor near my face. Normally by this point in the year I’ve had enough menthol to last me until next Blizzard Battles, but not this time. None of these soaps have burned me out, and Texas is still hitting the triple digits, so a Texas summer will make you take any cold you can get.
Barren Earth goes on the other side, and on first pass I’m calling both of these a five for coldness. Neck and neck, both colder than Cryogen or right there with it. I need to run a real side-by-side against Cryogen after this whole event wraps to see if either one takes the crown for coldest soap I’ve used.
Past that, it’s just pain in the best way. Both sides are running, both eyes are watering, and I’m having to be careful not to touch my face with a soapy finger because I’m half blind at this point. Whatever’s happening to me right now is exactly what I was hoping for out of a final round. I’m going to leave this side alone, hit it with some alum after this pass, and keep going.
Both of these soaps have earned their spot in the final, and right now I honestly don’t know which one’s walking away with the win. Thanks for watching, and get out there and shave.