Phoenix Shaving Cucumber Fumbler: Artifact Razor and My Bob Dylan Rant
Hey everybody, it’s Glenn and welcome to the Luxury Shaving Hobbyist. Get yourself a glass of cucumber water, put your feet up. We’ve got about 20 minutes and it’s going to be a good one.
Cucumber Fumbler from Phoenix Shaving, both the soap and the splash. The Cyclotrode X brush. The Artifact razor. And I’m throwing in my Bob Dylan rant while I’ve got you. Stick around for that one.
Cucumber Fumbler
Let’s look at this label. Two robotic beings farming cucumbers. Not on Earth. And there’s a holographic cube sitting alongside it. Beautiful.
Before I open the jar, here’s what Douglas from Phoenix had to say about this one:
For me, it captures summer better than lemonade, better than popsicles, maybe even better than fresh cut grass.
That’s a big claim. I think he’s right.
Here’s the backstory, in Phoenix’s own words. This was one of Fran’s earliest original creations, born in the wild early days of artisan wet shaving when everyone was still figuring out what the hobby could become. At the time, cucumber was unlike anything on the market. Clean, cool, green, comforting. It built a loyal following fast, which made its disappearance all the more frustrating. Certain ingredients became impossible to source, and rather than compromise the scent, Phoenix let it go. Faded into legend.
Then the missing pieces quietly fell back into place. A limited release brought it back and the response was immediate. Now it’s here as a full release under the name Cucumber Fumbler, and I couldn’t be happier about it.
The full scent profile, straight from Phoenix:
A crisp, garden-fresh cucumber opens the experience with cool, watery, green notes that immediately evoke the first slice of a freshly picked cucumber on a warm summer afternoon. Beneath that refreshing brightness lies a soft, vegetal sweetness reminiscent of sprawling backyard gardens, dew on broad green leaves and vines heavy with fruit. Subtle aquatic nuances lead to airy, spa-like cleanliness. Delicate green undertones keep the fragrance firmly rooted in nature. The result is calming, cooling, and quietly invigorating. Simple at first breath, yet surprisingly nostalgic, like opening the gate to a summer you’ve almost forgotten.
We cruise on Princess Cruise Lines. In their spa, they serve the best cucumber water you’ve ever tasted. This soap takes me right back there. That’s where my head goes with this one. Fresh. Aquatic. Just a drop of sweetness. Not heavy at all.
The Artifact Razor
The Artifact is from Phoenix; check their website for availability. I hope it comes back, because this is a beautiful razor.
Bakelite handle in a perfect shade of light brown. 24K gold-plated top cap with intricate work on the edges. I love that cap. The base plate is also Bakelite, and no two are exactly alike. Every plate has a different design in the material.
There’s some blade overhang here. And if you look at the bottom of the base plate, you’ll see a couple of holes. That’s the self-lubricating feature. It works. Flip the razor upside down under water, put it back on your face, and you’ll feel the water coming through. Not a gimmick.
Running an Astra Green on its second use in this shave.
The Cyclotrode X Brush
Also from Phoenix. 24mm synthetic fiber knot in a clear acrylic handle that glows in the dark. It does glow. This is an homage to the N500, and the artwork on the bottom of the handle is something else. Beautiful brush.
The Shave
It’s 101 degrees here in Media, Pennsylvania. So before the soap goes on, I’m starting with the mentholated Tube 2.0 from Phoenix. That sets the stage. You feel it immediately.
Then Cucumber Fumbler. CK-6 never disappoints. The lather is fresh, aquatic, just a drop of sweetness. I want to be clear: it’s not like shaving with a salad. It’s a clean, cool scent that works on your face the same way it works on your hand. I kept wishing I had a glass of cucumber water sitting in front of me.
The Artifact handled beautifully. Three passes, nothing missed.
After the shave: Galactic Witch Hazel from Phoenix to start, a little air drying, then the Cucumber Fumbler splash. That splash is delicious. Fresh, cooling, a little sweetness, completely aquatic. I used more than I planned to. Finished with a little Mysterium serum.
One thing I always do: don’t waste the lather left in your brush after the shave. Put it on your face one more time. Three reasons. It smells great. It’s good for your face. And if you missed any spots, you’ll find them and clean them up.
I was on the cruise ship. In the spa. That’s exactly where I was.
My Bob Dylan Rant
A couple of days before this video, my wife and I went to see Bob Dylan at the Mann Center in Philadelphia. I’m a fan. I was genuinely looking forward to it.
We didn’t enjoy it. Here’s why.
He was covered in a white hoodie the entire time. You couldn’t see his face. And those big screens they set up at concerts so you can get a close-up of the artist? They showed nothing. Just the regular stage. No close-ups. You couldn’t see him any better on the screen than you could from your seat.
The music was unrecognizable. He played two songs most people would know. The rest of the set, unless you’re a hardcore Dylan fan, you wouldn’t recognize. And the songs you were supposed to know sounded nothing like you remember. He’s known for reworking his material, I get that. But at least give the audience something familiar to hold onto.
He never said a word to the crowd. Not hello. Not goodbye. Not thank you for being here. Total disconnect.
If you’re a hardcore Dylan fan, maybe you got something out of it. We didn’t. That’s the honest take.
Anyway. Cucumber Fumbler is a summertime classic in my book. If Douglas and the Phoenix team keep this one in the lineup, I’ll be buying it every summer. Stay cool, folks, and I’ll catch you next time on the Luxury Shaving Hobbyist.